Women Helping Women

As Women’s History Month comes to an end, I would like to take a moment to thank all the women and "male allies" who have provided me with guidance and advice throughout the years. We don’t use the term "male allies" enough. They do exist, and thank you for collaborating and speaking up for women in rooms we are not in.

Not too terribly long ago, the repercussions of standing up to misogyny landed me in a therapist’s office for the first time in many years. When my therapist, a man, discovered that gender discrimination was the reason I was sitting on his couch, he asked me if I wanted to work with a female therapist. I told him, “No, women already know what is happening.  It’s men that need to be educated on how bad it is.”

So, yes, I want to thank all the women who have assured me that the struggle is real and that we are not alone, as well as the men who have the courage to stand up and call out bad behavior.

I also want to apologize to the women I did not help enough or didn't want to help because I saw them as competition in an industry that is already cutthroat and even more so for our gender.

I am sorry I didn’t stand up for you when I knew people were slandering you and heard men saying things I knew were not true about you. I’m sorry I did not speak up for you on the calls when I was outnumbered by men 3 to 1. That was wrong. You deserve better. We all do.

Over the past 15 years, I’ve watched women be judged for behavior no one would bat an eye at if done by a man. I’m sorry I did not provide more solidarity because I didn’t want to look like a whiner or a victim, as we are often called when we point out a wrong. We’re fewer than 100 days into Trump 2.0 and cannot allow petty differences to divide us.

None of this is new. I recently watched the Netflix documentary, Feminists, What Were They Thinking?  originally released in 2018, back in the pre-Dobbs days. It’s worth a watch, especially when Black women discuss the specific challenges they face as women of color standing up for their gender. 

Whether we are competing for career success, attention from men, or attention in general, women see each other as competition. And quite frankly, this is the highest hurdle in our quest for true equality. 

So, fellow women, I apologize for my past behavior, and I am making it a personal goal to do better in the future. I will no longer hold grudges against women whom I’ve viewed as competitors in the past. Men will get in fistfights with one another one night and then go golfing together the next day. 

Fellow women, I will congratulate you on your successes and not be jealous or envious. When I hear someone saying something ill about you, I will say, “What makes you say that?” or “That has not been my experience with her” if that is indeed the case.

The infighting has gone on too long, and the consequences have been too dire. It’s time to embrace the sisterhood with actions, not just words.

I’ve learned so much from women who have been in this male-dominated industry longer than I have. I only wish I had started learning from them earlier in my career.

Whenever I have taken on leadership roles, I have always aspired to mentor my team members, especially the women, because I know they have a much taller mountain to climb.

If you are a woman or know a young woman who is getting started in the world of politics, please reach out to me. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I want you to reach your full potential.

And if you are a man who made it through the end of this email, thank you for reading.

If you are a man and having trouble addressing sexism and “locker room talk” when you are out with the guys or find yourself in a meeting without a female voice (or one that is talked over) and don’t know what to say, ask your mother.

Ask your sister. Ask your daughter. Ask your wife. Ask your best female friend.

They will know.

Feel free to stay up to date on my Substack here: "A Fish Without a Bicycle."

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Awevo!

Monica Biddix
Founder and Principal, Workhorse Strategies